Friday, March 15, 2013

Awareness

This week my mom finished her radiation for her breast cancer. It's still strange to me to say my mom had cancer!
She went in for her annual exam and mammogram and they found an abnormality. She had to go back and have another mammogram, then it was a biopsy, and then the results came back. Ductal Carcinoma. But, her's was in the very very early stages, it hadn't even spread- it was still contained in her milk duct.
She made her appointment with the Oncologist, the same Oncologist my Dad had. He asked if he knew her, and she explained who she was. He vaguely remembered her- but remembered my Dad passing away. It just seems so wrong to have parents who both have a type of cancer!
The oncologist told her it was in it's really early stages, and that she would need surgery to remove the duct, and then radiation- no chemo.
What a relief for everyone!
She has been a trooper through this! I am not one to show a lot of emotion, I call myself a
 "closet cry-er." I don't know why I am this way, my mom certainly isn't- she can't say a prayer with out crying.:) But when we found out she had breast cancer I had emotions all over the place. I cried for days, I hated the thought of her having to deal with this on top of everything else she has to worry about. My fear was that she wouldn't want to treat it. If you know my Mom and Dad, you know they LOVED each other. They were each others best friends. They met, dated, and were married in a few short months, and then 11 children later were still in love.
When Dad passed away I cried because I missed him, but I cried more for my Mom. I knew how much she would miss him, I knew how much she loved him. She has said on many occasions she wishes he would come down from heaven and take her back with him. I know it sounds suicidal- but it's not, she's not- she just really misses her best friend!
She did at one point tell me that she always said if she had cancer she wouldn't fight it, so when the results came back as cancer I was sad for my mom again. I wanted her to fight it, I want my mom- I need my mom. But if it was an aggressive breast cancer then I didn't want her to suffer and prolong the inevitable.
When Mom found out about the cancer she did indeed want to fight it, and especially when she found out how early it was caught. Through the surgery and radiation she has been through some painful things, but she's kept a positive attitude and been such an example to me.
Not only do I struggle showing emotion, I struggle showing affection- but seeing my mom, seeing she really was doing ok, seeing that even though she was in pain- she was still doing well. Those feelings of peace that I had been longing for after finding out about the cancer, they finally came. I slept so well that night at my mom's house!
 
Fast forward a bit and here we are today. I'm so thankful that my mom is doing well, that so far all is well, and as far as we know the surgery, and radiation, along with some medications- my mom is now cancer free!
Look at all these people who love her!!
 

This has brought many new awareness-es to me. It's made me aware that I need to appreciate more. I need to not be afraid to show emotion or affection. I need to tell people how much I love them. I need to not take so many things for granted. Good health is a blessing- a HUGE blessing! And it's made me more aware of all that I've been blessed with. The Gospel, it's my foundation. It gives me purpose and strength to handle all the many obstacles that life brings.