June 2016

This summer has gone by so quickly! It seemed we had something going on each week, which we loved! We also had lots of visitors- and we loved that too!

The kids were in school until June 10th, well Baylee and Carly got out June 9th because of construction on their school.

 Carly- last day of elementary school and finishing 5th grade

 Baylee- last day of 1st grade

 Ashlee- last day of 9th grade

Lexi- last day of 10th grade

 

We found out at the last minute that Darrell's Grandma would have a layover at our airport, I took most of the kids out of school and we went to visit her for an hour. Carly couldn't go because she had a performance and slide show at her school. Grandma Pug is 92, we love her and miss her so much! She and Grandpa Pug live in San Diego, so we don't get to see them often. It was great for the girls to have a little time with her- and me too! She is a great example of faith, hard work, and love.

The week after school got out Lexi and Ashlee left for EFY. This is a church type of camp held in colleges all over the US. They attend classes, and learn so much about the gospel, and they get to meet a lot of kids their age from around here that have their same standards. They loved it!

Carly had a week of gymnastics at Hamline University. She was challenged and learned a lot of new skills and found some more confidence in her skills. She also has been able to help watch babies quite a bit to prepare her for babysitting.

Baylee is a little more reserved than our other girls and hasn't had ANY interest in learning to ride a bike. Darrell and I finally said she had to- we are mean like that. It took a few days of tears and crying, but she started getting the hang of it. She wouldn't let Darrell or I look at her so a lot of times I'd point my phone and watch her through the camera lens. She finally has ridden the paths behind our house, but still doesn't seem to really feel quite comfortable yet. We were so excited for her when she finally did it! It's so rewarding to watch your child work so hard at something and finally succeed.

 Baylee also turned 7 on June 2nd! She was really into Star Wars, and loves Lego's, she also was excited ot get a set of fancy Barbie Walkie Talkies to play spy with. Somehow I can't find the pictures of her blowing out the candles- but it did happen!

Our friends the Bingham's spent a weekend with us, and we loved having them! Their oldest daughter Ashley will be starting school at BYU Provo, so it was great to see her before she left for college. Minnesota weather is beautiful in the summer, but sometimes we get these crazy humid days when it's in the 90's and it's just not a good idea to be out in it. I know the Bingham's probably thought we are wimps, but we are acclamated to deal with -30 degree's, so the hot and humid stuff is hard for us;)

We spent time at Mall of America, and then went to Stillwater to see the river and visit Nelson's Ice Cream. The river was fun, the kids could wade into it. We walked across the bridge that crosses into Wisconsin, and saw a man propose to his girlfriend. Nelson's Ice Cream did not disappoint- the servings were crazy big, and I don't think anyone was able to finish theirs. 

We were sad to see them go, it was a quick trip- but we were so thankful they were willing to come up and see us. We don't get many visitors here! (Somehow Ashlee and McKenna aren't in any of the pictured I posted..)

The day after the Bingham's left Lexi and Ashlee left for another week- this time to Girl's Camp. I didn't get any pictures of Lexi, which is a bummer- but I got one group shot with Ash. Ashlee was a 3rd year and Lexi was a 5th year, also called a YCL.

Addiction

Some people live with the illusion that the choices and decisions they make only affect them, because it's their life and their body.

This is so far from the truth! 

These pictures are old, this was a weekend in March of 2008. Darrell and I flew to San Antonio to bring his nephews to live with us while his younger sister, Danielle went into rehab, and her husband Josh needed to find work and get their home cleaned up- it was really gross and I won't post the pictures of it.
These boys had suffered so much, but were the sweetest things. I won't lie- it was hard though! Over night Darrell and I went from 3 kids to 5, Lexi was 7, Ashlee was 6, Caleb was 5, Chase was 4, and Carly was 3.

Easter 2008

The boys lived a very different life than my girls did. They weren't used to structure and they weren't used to discipline. They were used to playing video games at all hours of the night, and just kind of taking care of themselves. It was hard to break those habits. They were used to physical punishment, and in our home we don't hardly spank, we use time outs and vinegar in the mouth for bad words or sassy mouths. We got them enrolled in school, and swim lessons. Chase had been on medication for ADHD, but seemed over medicated- he was always in a trance. I slowly weaned him off the medication so we could start at square one to figure out just what he needed. He had impulse control issues, and seemed to struggle learning certain subjects in school, but was amazing at math. I wondered if he had a learning disability, or some sort of special needs- or was it just ADHD? It's really hard to try and figure it all out! They lived with us almost 3 months, and I can honestly say they were incredibly hard months, but we were incredibly blessed through it. We had help from friends that donated beds, bedding, clothing, money, and even toys.
Over the next few years Danielle had a daughter- Chloe who is 6 months older than Baylee. Danielle and Josh marriage got worse and worse, lots of drugs and domestic abuse happening- they both abused each other. They moved back to Las Vegas and things continued to get worse. My mother- in- law ended up taking the kids for almost 9 months because both parents were seen as unfit. Josh got the kids back, and he and Danielle divorced. Danielle has never known how to cope with the stresses of life, it was easier to let the drugs give her an escape. I know it sounds mean and callous but it's the truth. That's what drugs do, they give a temporary escape.
Josh has the kids now, things are hard- the kids have an incredibly hard and sad life. Danielle was gone, we hadn't heard anything from her in almost 3 years. Losing her kids was just too much, and once they were gone there was nothing to keep her around- she just needed to escape.
We took the kids with us to Disneyland for Christmas in 2014, it was so good to spend a week with them and get to know them again. I think at first it was uncomfortable for everyone because it had been a while since we had seen them- living far away is not easy! My mother- in- law bought them tickets as their Christmas gifts and they were able to spend the week with all of their cousins, aunts, and uncles.

 Chase

 Chloe

Caleb

 Chloe and Baylee were fast friends

 First day at Disneyland

 Almost the whole family

 Everyone (except a few of the married cousins and their kids)

 Caleb and Chase waiting in line

Caleb Chase and Chloe

 My heart aches for them- they were with us and they could tell their life was completely different than their entire families. But the only thing we can do is try and keep contact with them, which isn't easy at all. I also am working on a book of pictures for them with quotes of family, so they know they have people who care about them and love them no matter what.
Danielle is in jail now, all of our prayers were answered. My mother- in- law went in to visit her and took her pictures of the kids so she would remember that her kids love her and miss her.
The emotions that went through me hearing Danielle was in jail were joy/ relief/ sadness all in one. I don't know what will happen now. She said she can get out of jail on house arrest if she lived with her mom. As much as I want to help her and have a relationship with her, I'm nervous about this.. In order for there to be change you have to change. How do any of us know if Danielle is ready to really get the help she needs? How do you know when to give not a second chance, but more like a one hundred and second chance for her to change. I love her and miss her! She is my little sister (I only have a little brother on my side of the family so I was excited to get a younger sister when D and I got married!) and I want her to have a good life, to see what life can give her. To see her recovered and have her kids back in her life. I can't make these changes, my husband can't make these changes, my mother- in-law can't make these changes for Danielle, she has to do it and want it.
This is why I get upset when someone says it's their body and they can do what they want. Yes, it is their body- but when you make choices like drugs, alcohol, and sex they can definitely affect someone else's life. It's like throwing a pebble in a pond. Danielle made some rough choices, in the beginning it seemed to only affect her. But as she had babies and the addiction got worse the people who were affected by her choices grew in number. Her choices have affected her children's lives, her ex husbands life, her mom's life, my life, my husbands life, my children's life, and everyone else in our family- each of us have been affected by her choices. Each of us love her, but each of us are very scared to let her back into our lives.

Ashlee's Surgery Pictures

Ash amazed us with her positive attitude after her surgery. Lexi begged Darrell and I to record her after she was given medication, she was almost obsessed with it. But Ashlee was a boring patient, nothing too crazy happened. Right before they took her out they gave her a sedative that made everything really funny to her, like she could not quit laughing at everything. They took her to surgery about a minute after that. Her surgery was to last about an hour and a half, but after almost 2 hours I was starting to get a little worried that something happened. Her doctor came out and told us she did great, but her hip was worse than he thought. We knew her hip and femur bones would need to be shaved down to the correct shape, and we knew her labrum muscle that is in the hip was most likely bruised and possibly torn. He said she had 2 major tears and that was why she has been in so much pain for so long, but he fixed them and she'd be great in a few months. He also told us she was having a hard time waking up which is why they hadn't gotten us yet. 

When Ash was 3 she had a herniated cyst in her belly button removed, and she would not wake up from the medication. It's almost scary to me how powerful anesthesia is!

We told them she had a hard time when she was 3 also, and it just seems she has a harder time coming out of it. When she did wake up she was shaky and emotional, and so confused why she kept crying.By this time Lexi had quit asking for funny videos and was actually quite scared that something was wrong since it took so long. It was sweet to see her show how much she was worried. In fact she asked me to send her a video of Ash so she could know she was ok. 

 She wanted a picture of our matching bracelets

 Every time she pointed her finger her thumb would be up, no idea why- but it was pretty funny.

 Her friends from church gave her a basket full of great things for her recovery, and her YW leaders came to visit her also. She had a giant brace with an ice pack that is hooked to a cooler. It's so awesome! You fill the cooler with ice water and it circulates the ice water through the pad on your skin so you don't have to worry about refreezing an ice pack. We learned the hard way to listen to what the nurses say- they told me to make sure when we got home I put something between her skin and the ice pad, but she was so bulky from the brace and bandages I thought she was fine. She was to keep the ice going for 24 hours, and she was numb so we didn't know until the next day that it had burned her skin. She had these little blisters from her skin freezing- I felt awful! Luckily they healed and left no scarring.

 She was completely stir crazy form being in the house for so long, so she came with me to the little girls school and ate lunch with them. They thought it was great to have her, and Ashlee was bombarded with a million questions from all the kids.

 The brace. The brace looks like some crazy bionic thing- and it's HUGE! She had to wear it constantly for 2 weeks, and couldn't put weight on her left leg for those 2 weeks. It's hard to not use one of your legs, but she got really good at it. When she got in the car I had to lift her legs for her, when she got in or out of bed I had to lift her legs for her. By the end of the 1st week she figured out how to use her brace straps to lift her leg by herself. She needed help with everything, so she was relieved to be able to start doing things on her own. I told her to call me when she needed help and soon the song by Charlie Puth- I'm Only One Call Away became my theme song to her. Every it comes on we still turn it up really loud!

 After 2 weeks of the brace she was thrilled to have it gone. She was nervous that she'd get hurt with out the protection though. By this point she was going to school for 3 hours a day, and alternating classes. Having the brace was embarrassing, she hated the crutches too- but the brace was even more noticeable.

The CPM was a life saver for her when she couldn't move her leg. This machine did it for her, and actually felt really good to her. She would have to do it 4 hours a day- and slept the best when her leg was in it.The picture doesn't do the size justice- it was about 4 ft long and heavy. We'd have to lift it in her bed to hook her up, then take it off her bed and replace it with pillows after. It was tiring for her and all of us getting through those first few weeks. 

She has decided to go ahead and do her other hip this summer. We knew it needed to be done but were hoping she'd get to play one season of soccer before the next surgery- but with her injured knee it has set her back even more. If she does the surgery in the summer she's hoping to be off her crutches before starting school- we are looking at scheduling her surgery for August. Bilateral hip impingement's are hereditary, and it's obvious it comes from my side of the family since one of my nephews has already had surgery for the same thing. You can have it and not know, but because of the sports Ashlee and my nephew played it made the pain unbearable. It's common for it to be in both sides of the hips, so Ashlee having surgery now will hopefully mean she can be pain free in her hips the rest of her life.

Carly's Gymnastics

Because I need to do a lot of catching up I figured every few nights I'd post about things I should have posted a long time ago. 

Carly was asked to join the East Ridge Xcel bronze/ silver team in August of 2015. She has done gymnastics since we moved here, but it was rec level and just once a week. She moved up as far as she could go with the rec team, and they had just formed this team at the High School. To say she was thrilled is an understatement, she was so nervous about her evaluations and couldn't even contain her excitement when she got her letter and award. 

She started going 3 days a week, 2 days were 3 hours and the 3rd day was 2 hours, it was a huge commitment for all of us. She missed a lot of time to hang out with friends, but she never ever complained. There were times we had her skip so she could go to a friends party or sometimes it just seemed like she could use a night off. Her team was brand new, her coaches were new, and they were starting from scratch. In October she started complaining of back pain, she had been working on her back walkover on the beam. I thought she must have tweaked it, but the pain was getting worse and after all the stuff with Ashlee I decided I better get her in to the doctor sooner rather than later. The doctor sent us to the children's hospital for x rays with a spine specialist. They were worried she had fractured her spine, but what they found is almost funny. She is missing a joint between 2 of her vertebrae, so her bones are hitting against each other doing the back walkover- there's not joint to help the spine bend and protect them. She had to quit doing all back walkovers for the rest of the season. Her coach had her do handstands on the beam instead for the competitions.

 Her first competition was December 18, a day after she turned 11- which put her competing in the 11 year old group. I was so incredibly nervous for her. It's a big change to go from doing a sport for fun, to doing it at a competition where they judge you. 

She was having so much fun and didn't care about her scores at all, until awards ceremony and she realized how good the others were. She ended up placing 6th over all in floor in her age group, and she was so excited. After that she decided she wanted to do better, now that she knew what to expect at the competitions. We were thrilled with how she did, with only 4 months to learn and prepare for this meet, we thought she did great. She also had just learned her round off back handspring on the floor the week before, so we were happy for her.

The next meets she progressively got better, and won more and more medals and ribbons. These next pictures are a combo of her next 3 meets.

 She placed 5th in every event except floor, and she also placed 5th over all in her age group at this meet.

She qualified for the State competition, and was super excited. She did well, but was a little bummed at some of her scores. It's hard to work so hard at something and forget to point your toe and get huge deductions for it- but she still did well enough to qualify for Regionals.

Carly was really nervous for Regionals, but again- she did great. She realized there is always more she can improve on and that she has a lot of tough people to compete against- but she loves it! She also got her personal best score on floor, which was huge because she has a hard time keeping straight elbows and knees on her round off back handspring.

I can't remember what she placed to get her medal (I know that's terrible), but there were over 100 girls in her age division, and her overall score put her in 19th place. 

We asked her if she wanted to take a break, we were worried she was a little burned out. She looked at Darrell and I like we were crazy- she did not want a break. She has become very close to her teammates, and her coaches. Her assistant coach Mur- who was very strict and made Carly cry many many times, just moved to California. Carly cried for many days- she said she didn't realize how much she liked her and liked how hard she pushed her. So, this summer she will go to gymnastics 4 days a week, for 3 hours a day. I am totally cringing at this because anything my kids are committed to means my time is committed also, but I know she will love it!